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PART II -Why alpha males and alpha females tend to lock horns


alpha male


 by Joseph Ernest  June 22, 2011 


Newscast Media HOUSTON, Texas -- There are some experts who advise men to emphasize on generating attraction within a woman; however, attraction alone from a woman does not sustain a relationship.  In order for a woman to want to keep a man, she has to find him desirable.  Attraction is like a wildfire that eventually burns out.  Desire is much stronger.  It is like a warm, steady glow that is self-sustaining. 

It is possible to be attracted to someone you don't find desirable.  You see it everyday with drop dead gorgeous women on the arms of a man who could win an ugly contest.  Why, you may ask, does this phenomenon happen.  My research and investigation reveals that women might be attracted to men's accomplishments, status, humor, or influence in their community, but that doesn't mean that they find these men desirable.

It is easier to love than to like someone

 It is also possible to love someone you don't like.  Some women will even go as far as marrying men they aren't attracted to.  These men might be good providers, but because sometimes women would rather have security in a relationship, they go against their natural instincts of courting a man they are truly attracted to.  Think about your previous break-ups and ask yourself why they ended on such a sour note.  It is because you fell in love with someone, but never really developed a liking for that person.  It is easier to love someone than it is to like that person.  There are even some parents who love their kids, but don't really like them.  These parents love the kids enough to support and provide for them, and will even protect them from danger.  However, they never make themselves accessible to these kids or spend quality time with them.

To like someone takes a little more work.  Loving is easy because you can love someone from a distance.  You all know some people you love from a distance.  You really don't miss them, but you would reach out to them if they asked for help and you were in a position to extend a helping hand.  Liking someone means you are fond of that person.  Just being around the person gives you a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment.  When you desire someone, you not only like that person, but you also yearn to be with the same.  It is a longing.  It involves the force of physical appetite or emotional need.  When a woman desires you, she is literally "sold-out" to you.

Windows of the soul


According to Robert Sternberg, a behavioral scientist, the romantic love that we desire is made up of three key elements, which are: The emotional element, which involves self-disclosure and leads to connection, warmth and trust.  The motivational element, based on inner drives which translate to physiological arousal.  The third element is the cognitive element, which is the decision to love and stay in love with the beloved.  The relationships you had that fell apart did so because, while your mate may have been attracted to you (motivational element) the cognitive and emotional elements were missing.  All three elements must be present for a relationship to be well-balanced.

Everything you'll ever need to know about a woman lies within her eyes and the tone of her voice.  Because women who are clinically sane enjoy being romanced mentally, it is important to take your time and never rush a relationship, upon meeting a quality woman.  I also advise men to get the phone number, and not bother asking for the e-mail address because one should not let the relationship be regulated by the electronic media, it is best to develop the initial stages of the relationship by meeting in person.  You also eliminate the possibility of her using e-mail as a means to flake on you or dilute the communication process. I also advise against text messaging because it removes the element of mystery and makes you readily available, which is something men should avoid at least for the first three months into the relationship, because it is might be misconstrued as being needy.  Once the relationship has solidified, then e-mail and text messages are fine if used sparingly.

Externalize your inner game

Some men are gifted at spitting a good game, but always fall short, and lose the woman because they lack confidence, which is a very important ingredient in conveying inner game.  Dave Roper retold a story about African slaves who were brought to America and were being auctioned off to slave masters.  As the bidding was happening, one of the slave masters turned to the auctioneer and inquired about a particular slave who seemed unperturbed while all the other slaves were disoriented because they were being auctioned off.  The slave carried himself with such confidence and poise. The slave master said to the auctioneer, "That slave over there, I notice there is something different about him."  To which the auctioneer replied, "Back in Africa, he was a Prince, and he hasn't forgotten it."


All that glitters…

There are men who have asked me if it is recommended to either keep the phone number of an ex-girlfriend in one's phonebook, or if one should delete it.  The answer is yes and no.  If you were the one who broke up with her, keep the phone number that way if she calls, you will have the discretion  to answer the phone or not.  If  she's the one who broke up with you, delete the phone number or flush it down the toilet that way you'll receive closure faster, because you'll have no means of contacting her.

Never memorize a woman's number because if things don't work out, it will take you almost two years to erase the number from your mind.  Only memorize your relatives' numbers and the women you aren't attracted to.  The irony is that when a beautiful woman is seen with an ugly man, she's called a gold digger, yet when a good-looking guy is seen with an unattractive woman, it's called true love.

             Continue to PART III - Alpha males and females >>


Related articles:

PART III - Alpha males and females tend to lock horns

PART I - Alpha males and females tend to lock horns


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