Part II – Social evolution and its role in shaping our lives

Narcissus flower

Newscast Media HOUSTON, Texas — Everyone has a story to tell. I personally discovered that older people, more than anything else, cherish having a friend who is young. There are some people who have nobody to talk to, or believe they have lost their relevance in life and are carrying with them fears, painful memories, unfulfilled expectations and unspoken frustrations. All they need is someone to embrace them for who they are, without judging them.

Voltaire describes friendship this way: “Friendship is the marriage of souls, and this marriage is subject to divorce. It is a tacit contract between two sensitive and virtuous persons. I say sensitive, because a monk and a recluse can be innocent of evil and still live without knowing friendship. I say virtuous because the wicked only have accomplices; self-seekers have partners; politicians attract partisans; princes have courtiers; while only virtuous men alone have friends. (The Portable Voltaire, page 128).

Even in my profession of journalism, friendships seem to be based on political affiliations. It is the reason I have always maintained that only an independent media practitioner is capable of practicing true objective journalism. The reason is because if one is not independent of a political affiliation, one can become ensnared into a personal fable. A personal fable is the conviction that one is special and unique, and is not subject to the rules that govern the rest of the world or society.

I often hear this civilization being described as narcissistic and self-absorbed. To a certain extent, the statement is true. If you look at the how social media became popular, all you have to do is look back to the once-popular social network called MySpace, (the emphasis is on me, or a space that belongs to me). If you look at YouTube, the emphasis is on a tube (TV) that belongs to me or You. Now even electronic gadgets like phones and computers emphasize on me. Take for example the most popular phone, it is called an iPhone, once again we are conditioned to believe the phone is all about me, myself and I. The most popular mobile computer is the iPad, again focusing on first person singular (I or me), therefore it begins to make sense and critics are justified in describing us as narcissistic, a flaw that marketers and advertisers are taking advantage of to generate profits for themselves.

We only have to travel back to Classical Antiquity to trace the origin of the word narcissism from the epic work, Ovid’s Metamorphoses. The story of Narcissus and Echo will be used for illustrative purposes. According to the story, Jupiter was married to the goddess Juno, but was having an extramarital affair with some nymph. The ever-crafty Echo would distract Juno by keeping her engaged in long conversations at the mountainside, to give the nymph time to escape after meeting Jupiter. When Juno, who was the daughter of Saturn discovered that Echo had tricked her, she said, “I’ve been cheated enough by your prattling tongue, from now on, the words you say will be short and sweet!” Her curse became effective instantly and Echo could only repeat the last words of a sentence.

Meanwhile, Narcissus was known for his beauty, but refused to share his body with anyone. Echo caught a glimpse of Narcissus and was filled with passion for him, but could not start sentences. Upon hearing movements in the country fields, Narcissus yelled, “Is anyone there?” Echo repeated, “Anyone there?” Narcissus was curious and yelled, “This way, we must come together!” Echo repeated, “We must come together,” and ran to embrace Narcissus. Upon seeing Echo, Narcissus said, “Hands off! May I die before you enjoy my body!” Scorned and rejected, she fled into the forest and hid her shame in lonely caves. Seen no more on the mountains, heard all over the world, she survives in the sound of the echo.

Finally, one of Narcissus’ rejected admirers, with hands raised towards the heavens, said the following prayer: “I pray that Narcissus may fall in love and never obtain his desire.” The prayer was heard, and answered by none other than Nemesis.

On a hot day in the mountains, exhausted from hunting, Narcissus became thirsty and saw an unmuddied clear pool of water. As he started to drink the water, he became thirsty for something else. His entire being was suddenly overwhelmed by a vision of beauty — a shadow mistaken for substance. He gazed upon his reflection and saw a beautiful figure staring back at him. His eyes were deceived, but this strange illusion excited his senses, so he reached out to hug and kiss this reflection, yet when he drew closer to it, the pool betrayed him.

Nobody had ever rejected Narcissus. He thought if he turned and walked away, his newly-found love would vanish. Nothing could drag him away from the place not even hunger. He was in love with his own image of perfect beauty, which would prove his demise.

In sorrow, he looked up to the trees around him and exclaimed, “Wise old trees, has anyone loved more cruelly? Lovers have kissed in secret under your branches. Has anyone suffered for love like me? Whom can you remember? Death will be easy to bear, since dying will cure my heartache. If I am not able to touch you my love, I must be allowed to see you, to feed my unhappy passion.”

Echo watched his decline as his beauty faded due to hunger and lack of sleep, but was moved to pity as Narcissus lay his weary head in the grass till Death’s hand gently closed his eyes. His body was not to be found though — only a flower with a trumpet of gold and pale white petals. The flower today is called a Narcissus, as shown in the picture above.

Behavioral Scientist George Herbert Mead said that what matters of our self-concepts is not how others actually see us, but the way we imagine they see us. Continue to Part III – Social evolution and its role in life>>

Related stories:
PART I – Social evolution and the role it plays in shaping our lives
PART III – Social evolution and the role it plays in shaping our lives
PART IV – Social evolution and the role it plays in shaping our lives